Perfect humor for sharing as a Facebook status!

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A Job With Karma

I’ve decided my dream job would be the Karma delivery service.

Zombies at Costco

If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco. They have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership.

Toilet Brush

I went out and bought a toilet brush and couldn’t wait to get home and try it… Ouchie!! I think I’ll stick to just using the paper from now on.

Minute Rice

Studies prove that what you eat can effect your sex life… so its a good idea to have minute rice on the DO NOT EAT list… always opt for “long grain”or “wild rice”.

Sexual Positions

My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I’m just glad to be involved…

Viagra Woes

I’ll never mix Viagra with iron supplements again. 20 minutes after taking them, they spun me around and made me point north.

The Drug Supply

Don’t do drugs, kids.
The extra demand will drive up the price for the rest of us.

Enjoy Your Date

I had a date today, and it was nice.  Tomorrow I’m going to try a raisin.

Shoe Size

How long did it take Cinderella and the Prince to realize you can’t base a relationship on shoe size…

Valentines Fail

Sherry still isn’t talking to me. Apparently, me trying to save a few bucks and buying her a bouquet of cilantro for Valentines wasn’t the best idea. On the other hand, I made a kick-ass potato salad for lunch today.

Irrational

Instead of saying ‘calm down’ try using ‘you’re being irrational.’ Wives love being told they’re being irrational.
Follow me for other great marriage-saving recommendations.

Rating Sex

I used to love the Olympics until my wife Sherry started commentating and holding up score cards after sex.

Stuffed Animal

This year for Valentine’s Day, I got Sherry a cute stuffed animal. She didn’t like it, but the taxidermist thought it was a nice gesture…

Valentines Clean Up

Happy Single’s Discrimination Day. I’m sure you’ll be taking matters in your own hands. Don’t forget to clean up.

Flick That Booger

I was out and about running errands this morning and at a red light, the lady next to me caught me digging for a booger. She started laughing so I rolled down the window and flicked it at her. Life is like that sometimes. Flicked it right at her. Ha!

Pay It Forward

I paid it forward today.  I told the drive-thru worker that the car behind me was paying.

Fuck Ups

I might not be good at push ups or pull ups, but fuck ups?  Let me tell ya!

Following Directions

If I could only use just one word to describe myself, it would probably be: “not good at following directions”.

Deathbed

Don’t wait until you are on your deathbed to tell someone how you really feel.  You could be too weak to raise your middle finger.

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Top 10

  • Marriage Weirdos Marriage: Endless sleepovers with your favourite weirdo.
  • Pay It Forward I paid it forward today.  I told the drive-thru worker…
  • Valentines Fail Sherry still isn't talking to me. Apparently, me trying to…
  • Sexual Positions My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them.…
  • Viagra Woes I'll never mix Viagra with iron supplements again. 20 minutes…
  • Shoe Size How long did it take Cinderella and the Prince to…
  • Minute Rice Studies prove that what you eat can effect your sex…
  • Toilet Brush I went out and bought a toilet brush and couldn't…
  • Naked Photo Leaked Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to…
  • Valentines Clean Up Happy Single's Discrimination Day. I'm sure you'll be taking matters…

Site Staff

Rick Couchman
Rick Couchman, Owner
Rick posts daily the latest whimsical info that he finds. He hopes it brings a smile.
Murphy the Wonder Dog
Murphy, VP of Treats & Tummy Rubs
Murphy brings calm to the Old Skool Wit office. When he's not chewing on a dog toy (or Rick's shoe), he's found napping under Rick's desk.